Silly Facebook Q&As...part one
...a.k.a. more than anyone could ever want to know...
1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Dr. Pepper
2.Where was your profile picture taken?
In the front lawn from the driveway at our house, in 1975 or thereabouts.
3.Can you play Guitar Hero?
No, but I can play the guitar.
4.Name someone who made you laugh today?
I ain't been up long enough to find an occassion to laugh.
5.How late did you stay up last night and why?
About 1:00 in the morning. Lost track of time while listening to my XM radio. Then I was attacked by Munchies, ate a ridiculous number of caramel rice cakes then went to bed.
6.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Probably Iceland, cause I could sure use a change of scenery. Otherwise I like where I live just fine and would rather not have to go through all the trouble of moving again, even if I were so inclined to do so, which I am definitely NOT.
7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
If I have I would not remember it. It's not as if you get to make a wish if you kiss under fireworks, is it? Because if that's the case, and I'd known it, I would have run around the park every fourth of July kissing random strangers (okay, not THAT random), because I've long known that the "kissing under mistletoe" method does not work.
8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
They all live too far away.
9. Do you believe ex's can be friends?
In the big picture, I doubt that what I personally belive makes a damn insomuch as ex's are a curious lot and you just can't pin them down to say "well, this is the way it is, the way it always has been and the way it always will be" in regards to a transition between erotic love and philo love. Do I "believe" it? Well, why the hell not? It happens. Has it happened in my life personally? Nope. But, you see, there are usually some pretty good reasons that ex's part ways for good.
10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
How do I FEEL about it?
11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
Really hard? That's pretty damn hard. Don't rightly know that I would want to share that information with just anyone who happens to see it here.
12. Who took your profile picture?
I'm pretty sure it was my brother, but that was so long ago I couldn't say.
13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Probably the wife. It's a lovely portrait of the back of her hand.
14. Was yesterday better than today?
I don't know...today just started. I can only hope that today will be better than yesterday, but as long as it doesn't get any WORSE I don't think I'll have a problem with it.
15. Can you live a day without TV?
I can live a day without anything. No music would be the hardest, but nothing to read might be even worse. No TV? Oh, boy. If the biggest thing TV has to offer these days is Jay Leno at 9pm 5 nights a week...it should be easy why there's no sacrifice involved in spending considerable time without it.
16. Are you upset about anything?
I am still a little upset that my good Bose headphones bit the dust a couple of months ago. I am upset that the DVD-ROM drive in this here laptop is dead and it will cost me a hundred bucks to get it fixed. I'm upset that the last two DVDs Netflix sent me were cracked (one was broken completely in half). I'm upset that the chances of eating brisket at the Fillin' Station are slim to none today. I'm upset with the steadilly declining quality of Sirius XM's programming. I'm upset that I don't have the money to raid the Half Price Books & Records store in Oklahoma City.
17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Of course, as long as you don't equate "worth it" with "getting what I want(ed) out of it".
18. Are you a bad influence?
I try to be.
19. Night out or night in?
Well, if there's an opera going on, I'm night out. Or a Sigur Ros concert or something monumental along those lines, I'll be night out all you need me to be. Otherwise, unless somethin's goin' down, you won't find me around.
20. What items could you not go without during the day?
Foodstuff. Beverages. A pot to piss in. Various music players and their respective media. And probably, hate to admit it, this damn computer.
21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
I do not like to go to hospitals, so I don't do it unless I absolutely have to. As far as I can remember, the last time I visited someone in the hospital it was my dad, just a day before he passed away, right at 10 years ago.
22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
I don't use text messaging. I've discovered something far better and much more convenient. It's called a telephone.
23. How do you feel about your life right now
About the same way I FEEL about Dr. Pepper, only not quite so much.
24. Do you hate anyone?
Can't say that I really do, but who knows. Tomorrow's gonna be another day.
25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?
I imagine you'd find pretty much what you'd find in any facebook inbox...messages and such.
26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
There's absolutely no reason on earth that I would be given a drug test, so it's kind of like "if a tree falls in an empty forest, does it really make a sound?".
27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Yes, on many occasions.
28. What song is stuck in your head?
I don't think there is one in there right now. Just wait until Bryan starts learning a new song on the piano...that will be the one, whether I like the song or not.
29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
Well, Ed MacMahon is dead now, so...
30. Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?
I've got 'em. I would hope that the majority of people would be delighted to have them before they turn 50.
31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Finish up that stuff and make a resolution to give it, who knows, maybe even a whole month.
32. Do you think too much or too little?
Too much. Unfortunately most of my thoughts are considerably less than "lofty", so I might as well not be thinking at all.
33. Do you smile a lot?
No, but if you see me smiling you know I'm sincerely amused. I don't roll with that bullshit.
Silly Facebook Q&As...Part 2
...a.k.a. even MORE than anyone could ever want to know...
(obligatory introduction designed to fill in the clueless as to what these stupid things are all about)...you know the rules. Tag people (if you want) in this note (including the person who tagged you!) to learn more about them. Also, try to tag people who you've tagged in other notes. Sometimes you learn things in new notes that you didn't know before about them.......(***end statement of the obvious)
1. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Unfortunately I have no hoodie, but if I did I think it would be brown.
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? I guess.
4. Do you plan outfits? "Plan outfits"?????
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Bored (else I would not be filling out this questionairre).
6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red? My Webster's Dictionary.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? It had something to do with my ex-father-in-law chastising me in a violent manner.
8. Did you meet anybody new today? Are you kidding?
9. What are you craving right now? Something I'm not suppose to have.
10. Do you floss? No.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Sauerkraut.
12. Are you emotional? Depends on the emotion.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? No. There is no point in such a futile exercise.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream cone or just lick it? One would think it would take years to eat a cone just licking it.
15. Do you like your hair? No, but I'm glad I still have some.
16. Do you like yourself? I don't feel sorry for myself, if that's what you're getting at.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? If he's picking up the tab, I don't mind. We don't have to talk.
18. What are you listening to right now? An album called "Angelic Music" by noted new age composer/performer Iasos.
19. Are your parents strict? No.
20. Would you go sky diving? I say I would, but the "inner chicken" within me would probably hold me back.
21. Do you like cottage cheese? Yes I do, by God. I like it plain or with pineapple chunks. Small curd, and none of that nasty Sam's Choice/Great Value/Wal-Mart brand crap either.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity? I don't know if country and western stars are celebrities, but I met Wade Hayes and actually got to play music with him.
23. Do you rent movies often? I get 3 a week from Netflix. If there's anything new I just have to see (a rare occurance) I'll get it from the video store.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? I can't say there is.
25. How many countries have you visited? One, but I was only there for about an hour.
26. Have you made a prank phone call? I used to love doing that when I was a kid. No such thing as Caller ID back then.
27. Ever been on a train? No,
28. Brown or white eggs? I can't stand, and will not eat eggs.
29.Do you have a cell phone? Yes, but it's just a cheapo model and I only use when I absolutely have to.
30. Do you use chap stick? If I need to. What else would I use for chapped lips? Whale Blubber costs too much.
31. Do you own a gun? No.
32. Can you use chop sticks? No...I had a friend try to show me how once, and for a moment there I thought I was getting the hang of it. Then the moment passed and I grabbed a fork.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight? The wife and the kid.
34 Are you too forgiving? NO.
35. Ever been in love? Probably.
36. What is your best friend doing tomorrow? All of my best friends are scattered hither and yon so how the hell would I know?
37. Ever have cream puffs? I don't think so.
38. Last time you cried? Back in January when the pooch died.
39. What was the last question you asked? "...how th hell would I know?"
40. Favorite time of the year? Opera season.
41. Do you have any tattoos? No. I've never wanted one. I'll not let my body be a sketch pad for a half-assed "artist". No offense intended to any tattoo "artists" who may read this, but...
42. Are you sarcastic? Way too much. Sarcastic, cynical, just an all around pain in the ass.
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? Unfortunately I have. I don't know what I was thinking when I rented that one.
44. Ever walked into a wall? I haven't walked into a wall, but I have turned around and stepped into the side of a door.
45. Favorite color? I have never had a favorite color. When I was a kid I used to say it was blue, but that was before I knew better.
46. Have you ever slapped someone? No, I haven't. Many is the time I should have done so, but no.
47. Is your hair curly? Yes.
48. What was the last CD you bought? I replaced my burned copy of Sigur Ros' "Takk" with the real deal.
49. Do looks matter? I hope not.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? Probably not.
51. Is your phone bill sky high? No.
52. Do you like your life right now? It's okay. Could be a lot better, but hey, as long as there's air in the ol' lungs and the heart keeps a-pumpin'...
53. Do you sleep with the TV on? No way. Sometimes I like a little classical music.
54. Can you handle the truth? I don't really have a choice, do I?
55. Do you have good vision? No, and it just keeps getting worse.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Only a long list of celebrities, not anyone I know in real life.
57. How often do you talk on the phone? As seldom as possible. I don't really like talking on the phone.
58. The last person you held hands with? Uh.....
59. What are you wearing? Cargo shorts, black boxer-briefs and a "M*A*S*H" T-shirt.
60. What's your favorite animal? Dog.
61. Where was your default picture taken? Sitting in a red chair in the living room of the dump we lived in before moving to our current residence.
62. Can you hula hoop? No.
63. Do you have a job? I'm not unemployed, lets just leave it at that, nosey.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought? Tickets to an upcoming performance of Bach's "Mass in B Minor" . I renewed my subscription to WIRED since then, but I don't know if that counts as "buying something".
65. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes. That's just something you have to do a lot when you're trying to get into someone's house while they're away.
Silly Facebook Q&As...Part 3
Even God doesn't care to know me this well...
The title of this quiz is "45 Things About Me That You Probably Don't Care To Know!" That is definitely and understatement.
(blah blah blah) If you opened this, copy it and paste it into your own note - FILL IT OUT!!! Learn 45 things about your friends, and let them learn 45 things about you! (/blah blah blah)
1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes I do...not straight up though. Wishbone salad dressing, babee. And not that nasty Kraft shit that tastes like Miracle Whip.
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? I thought you shot up heroin? Didn't know it was smoked. Maybe if I had known... But seriously, NO NO NO. Heroin is one drug I swore I would never touch.
3. Do you own a gun? I don't need a gun. I've got a baseball bat and my hands are registered as lethal weapons.
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Starbucks? I don't patronize Starbucks often, but I like Hazelnut. Hazelnut likes me.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Not unless they want blood.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? They look funny.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Christmas movies suck. Period.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I don't care. Whatever's around.
9. Can you do push ups? A few. Like 4 or 5.
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? The kind I can send to Cash4Gold.
11. Favorite hobby? Producing music on the Acid Music Studio computer program. I also enjoy working on my blog...the one that nobody reads.
12. Do you have Kids? I wouldn't call them "kids" anymore. But I do have a teenage son and a grown daughter.
13. What's one trait you hate about yourself? I'm a hateful S.O.B.
14. Middle name? Arthur...as in KING Arthur.
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: I wonder if those drops my opthamologist are working? I'll be spending a lot more time in this office since I moved the recliner in here. I have wasted too much time on my computer this afternoon and should put it away for the rest of the night. ***Bonus 4th thought: I probably won't. There are albums floating out there on the Internet that need to be downloaded and added to my collection.
16. Name 3 things you bought yesterday? 1. Nothing. 2. Nothing. 3. Nothing.
17. Name 3 things you drink daily. Water, Dr. Pepper, horse piss...okay, just kidding...that's about it.
18. Current worry? I should have found a psychologist a few months ago, before I actually needed one.
19. Current Dislike? The things I cannot change about myself.
20. How did you bring in the New Year? I let someone else bring it in. I couldn't be bothered.
21. Where would you like to go? Iceland
22. Name three people who will complete this? Larry, Curly and Moe. Hopefully Diane. She can always be counted on for a good laugh.
23. Do you own slippers? What would I need slippers for?
24. What shirt are you wearing? My extra large and comfortable grey one turned inside out because I don't necessarily condone the message emblazoned on the front anymore.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I don't think I would.
26. Favorite color? If I've told you once, I've told you a billion times, I HAVE NO FAVORITE COLOR. They're all pretty nice, but come on. What's the point in choosing a favorite?
27. Could you be a pirate? No. Pirates are rogues and thugs. Throughout history they have raped and pillaged. It amazes me that they are romanticized these days. They're no better than Nazis.
28. What songs do you sing in the shower? Singing in the shower is a pointless endeavour.
29. Favorite food? The tasty kind. The kind I like.
30. What's in your pocket right now? Not a damn thing.
31. Last thing that made you laugh? Listening to people laughing on Sirius XM's comedy station. Not the comedians, mind you. The audience. The comics are funny about 10% of the time, but the audience, they steal the show.
32. Favorite sheets? The ones on my bed, I guess. Favorite SHEETS? Come now!
33. Worst injury you have ever had? Brain sprained a leak one time.
34. Do you love where you live? Yep.
35. How many TVs do you have in your house? Three of 'em. I try not to watch them too often.
36. Who is your loudest friend? I tend to shy away from loud people.
37. How many dogs do you have? No doggies, only memories.
38. Does someone have a crush on you? I think so. But she only knows of me through a fake profile I put up on the NORML community forum. So it's not really *ME*. It's some guy with lots of connections and money to burn.
39. What is your favorite book(s)? "Be Here Now" (Ram Dass), "The Brothers Karamazov" (Fyodor Dostoevski), "Conversations With God" (Neale Donald Walsch), "A Widow for One Year" (John Irving), "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" (Dave Eggers), "The Book (On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are)" (Alan Watts)
40. What is your favorite candy? I like Heath bars. Snickers, too. Snickers with Almonds. Skor. All that shit.
41. Favorite Sports Team? Whichever one is winning the game.
42. What songs do you want sung at your funeral? I don't want any "sung". I will one day burn a mix CD of my favorite Sigur Ros songs and that's what I want played. "Glossoli" will be on it. That's all I can tell you for now, as I am of the decided opinion that question such as these are quite morbid.
43. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Listening to fools talking on the Sirius XM radio "Talk" channels.
44. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke this morning? "I sure wish I didn't have to piss so bad or I'd stay right here."
45. Favorite place to be? In a pleasant dream.
Silly Facebook Q&As...Part 4
Last but not least...okay maybe least...
Here's one that veers slightly from the typical "question and answer" format. For better or worse.
1. I have a perfectly realistic understanding of just how difficult I am to get along with.
2. I believe there is much theological significance in the effects of anaesthesia.
3. My ears ring constantly. The best I can do is distract myself. I believe there is great theological significance in this as well.
4. If a random blood test were done on me today it would show, among other things, a significant percentage of Dr. Pepper. No, I do not find any theological significance in this.
5. When I was 14 my mom and dad would go out dancing. They wouldn't get home until 2:00 am so they left me and my brother two Fox DeLuxe pizzas and a six-pack of Coke each and we would stay up as long as we could watching Saturday Night Live and The Uncanny Film Festival. I am almost positive we had more fun doing this than our parents ever had dancing.
6. As a result of being an outcast most of my life I have a strong aversion to anything that reaches a certain level of popularity.
7. I have never put much stock in the old saying that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Uncontrollable wildfires are worth fearing. So are tsunamis. And Godzilla.
8. I get really, really pissed off when there is not fresh pizza on the all-you-can-eat buffet. You settle for what little is up there and wait for something fresh to come along. It doesn't but you want to get your money's worth so you eat a little more of the pizza that was already there when you arrived. Then just as you get up to leave (or have eaten so much that your gullet is stuffed) they'll put out not only fresh pizzas, but all your favorite kinds.
9. I have no desire to travel anywhere outside of the continental United States, except for Iceland.
10. I love my laptop and I will kill for it. Unless the Internet is down. Even then...
11. I have a son-in-law and two grandchildren who I've never met.
12. I love the house my family lives in right now and have no desire to live anywhere else, be it mansion or castle.
13. I have seen Sigur Ros in concert twice. My son accompanied me the second time. Tornadoes blew over the theater but no one knew or cared. I have resolved to see them every time they play within a three state radius of Oklahoma. Make that a FOUR state radius.
14. I have AT LEAST 30 Sigur Ros concerts that I've downloaded over the last year.
15. I am very likely the only 46 year old you'll ever meet who thinks Sigur Ros is better than the Beatles.
16. I really believe that the Internet is the greatest argument for postmodernism that ever needs to be made.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
18. One time I was working behind the counter at a Love's convenience store and this guy came in to pay for some gas. As he walked through the door he had his hand in his pocket reaching for his cash. When he pulled it out a big bag of marijuana fell to the floor. I'll never forget the look on his face.
19. When I worked at CD Warhouse I was always amazed by the number of hip-hop/rap CDs that got ripped off. Probably 10 to 1 over any other genre.
20. In the eighth grade my best friend and I used to pretend we were drug dealers. This is no lie. We'd put flour and sugar in plastic sandwich bags, take them to school and pretend to sell them to each other. We were abnormally obsessed with the movie "Super Fly". Surprisingly neither one of us used "real" drugs throughout the entirety of our high school days.
21. That same friend and I used to hide out in a vacant room on the second floor of the school building every day during PE. It is disturbing now, when I think back on it, to consider that no one seemed to know or care that we were regularly ditching a class.
22. That same friend told me that Bela Lugosi was his uncle and that he was also in some way related to Boris Karloff. This impressed me immensely because I was all into old monster movies before I got turned on to "Super Fly".
23. I would love to be a member of a nudist colony.
24. I currently subscribe to Esquire, Wired, Vanity Fair and Rolling Stone.
25. My browser's bookmark toolbar currently displays the following: Yahoo Mail, Blogger, MySpace, Facebook, Sedaka, RS.Com Castaways, Garageband, Last.fm, Pandora Radio, Wolfgang's Vault, Allmusic, Allmovie, Spirit Library & Speakeasy Internet connection speed test. Isn't that awesome?
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Addendum..........
In the years since I penned these pithy paragraphs I have seen Sigur Ros one more time *for a total of three*. I felt that was important to share with the reprint status of these narcissistic screes.
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