For the past several days I have felt like I needed to be writing something. No short stories or poetry but something more personal. Something always seems to come up though and I put it off.
Well, it's not so much that "something always comes up" as it is my not having a clue how to start or even what to write about.
I'm not in the best state of mind viz a viz my general outlook. Part of it has to do with the incessant overkill and overexposure that is Donald Trump. No, I'm not a Republican so he's not my problem...I am tempted to add "yet" but that would assume that he will actually make it through to the parties nomination and into the general election. This is something that I can't even fathom. Surely there's no way he can get enough support to be nominated. I say that even though he has proven to have a weird kind of staying power fueled by blatant offensiveness and telling frightened uneducated people what they want to hear.
And it's these frightened, uneducated people that are disconcerting. Trump's Islamophobia is a case example and his plan to keep all Muslims from entering into the country has for some reason really gotten under my skin. It's not that I care about Islam. Islam is the most boring of all world religions as far as I'm concerned and it's fierce paternal monotheism is as far from what I'd hope for in a religion as you can throw at me. I don't personally know any Muslims though I am reading the Quoran so I can answer questions that might be asked of me.
So why does it bug me so much that Trump and his followers (and even other right wingers who are smarter than Trump's pack) seem to be targeting the whole of Islam instead of the radical fringe that I think of as radical jihadists and there's something so insanely unfair about this throwing out the baby with the bathwater that it angers me. It's as if they completely ignore the first amendment's guarantee of freedom of religion, all the while making a big to-do over their own Christianity (which no doubt many of them understand almost as insufficiently as they do Islam). These are people who rally behind the second amendment so they can kiss the NRA's ass and buy assault rifles to ostensibly defend themselves against terrorists etc. Yes, that second amendment is gold to them but not the first (at least not all of the first since they still demand freedom of speech...the same freedom of speech that would seem to allow them to twist the real into half-truths to make lies seem legitimate and trivialize the truth).
More later.
Friday, December 25, 2015
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Monday, December 14, 2015
WRITING ABOUT TRUMP ON AMBIEN
I wanted to write about my distaste for Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump. Unfortunately it was late and I had taken not one but two 10mg doses of Ambien. This is the result, which was very extensively edited:
I
don't understand what is happening with my writing. Oh, I know the reason for it but I can't fathom why it dows, Just then the cursor got away from me and skidded all the way to the top of the page, It's frustrating when you hit on an s after trying diligently for 5 entire minutes. And that's when it' productive. Most cof the time letters spir our in the mosr random orders I am forced to do battle with a multitude of wrong letters before eventyally finding the right orders, a tedious and distresssing task indeed,
So the big guys at the high dollar insurance company want to know what is so damn important the I'm writing this even though, 1.) i'm so goddamn tired I can hardly see sreaignt or even sit up an b.) I thought I has significantly small swathes of wisdom ro offer about the dangers of sleep deprivation. Indeed I do, some tidbits of info that the smartest amonst your lot would be served well to take he techiques home and spend as much free time as you possibly can in tinkering with the techniques. Rhey will nor..fuck me, I've losrt my train of thought.
What I want to talk to you about is the state of the world circa 2015. In particular the snakepit known as facebook. Everybody must use facebook. That is rule number one.All face book members simply MU
I
don't understand what is happening with my writing. Oh, I know the reason for it but I can't fathom why it dows, Just then the cursor got away from me and skidded all the way to the top of the page, It's frustrating when you hit on an s after trying diligently for 5 entire minutes. And that's when it' productive. Most cof the time letters spir our in the mosr random orders I am forced to do battle with a multitude of wrong letters before eventyally finding the right orders, a tedious and distresssing task indeed,
So the big guys at the high dollar insurance company want to know what is so damn important the I'm writing this even though, 1.) i'm so goddamn tired I can hardly see sreaignt or even sit up an b.) I thought I has significantly small swathes of wisdom ro offer about the dangers of sleep deprivation. Indeed I do, some tidbits of info that the smartest amonst your lot would be served well to take he techiques home and spend as much free time as you possibly can in tinkering with the techniques. Rhey will nor..fuck me, I've losrt my train of thought.
What I want to talk to you about is the state of the world circa 2015. In particular the snakepit known as facebook. Everybody must use facebook. That is rule number one.All face book members simply MU
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Friday, November 27, 2015
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Mag Stash (an autobiographical poem)
I was raised on back issues of Hustler magazine
That Freaky Larry Flint gave me hope and stoked my dreams
Formed my definition of what it is to be "obscene"
It took me thirty years to find out what it really means
Stocked weiners in the cooler for a soft porn dealin' friend
A bag of tittie mags was my off-the-books stipend
He may have been damn lazy but you always could depend
He filled those bags so you'd be sure to do it all again
By Freshman year in my high school I had a big ole box
Filled with dirty magazines and a few clean white crew socks
I thought I hid 'em pretty good, I didn't need no locks
And anyone who stumbled upon 'em was in for quite a shock
One summer I went to church camp to exorcise the thoughts
Of Larry Flymt's corrupt ideas I'd so naively bought
But me and God we struck a deal, though it didn't seem we ought
Traded my soul for a centerfold and all the joy it brought
I was at that camp for over a week but it didn't seem so long
Listening to preachin' and fat guys singing their favorite gospel songs
When I got back the house was dark, I knew something was wrong
Checked my secret hidey hole, MY GIRLIE MAG STASH WAS GONE!!!
Never asked my mother cuz she'd seemed so unaware
Never asked my pa cause he was hardly ever there
Never found out where they went, they disappeared into thin air
And it was a long long long long long long time til I could say I didn't care
That Freaky Larry Flint gave me hope and stoked my dreams
Formed my definition of what it is to be "obscene"
It took me thirty years to find out what it really means
Stocked weiners in the cooler for a soft porn dealin' friend
A bag of tittie mags was my off-the-books stipend
He may have been damn lazy but you always could depend
He filled those bags so you'd be sure to do it all again
By Freshman year in my high school I had a big ole box
Filled with dirty magazines and a few clean white crew socks
I thought I hid 'em pretty good, I didn't need no locks
And anyone who stumbled upon 'em was in for quite a shock
One summer I went to church camp to exorcise the thoughts
Of Larry Flymt's corrupt ideas I'd so naively bought
But me and God we struck a deal, though it didn't seem we ought
Traded my soul for a centerfold and all the joy it brought
I was at that camp for over a week but it didn't seem so long
Listening to preachin' and fat guys singing their favorite gospel songs
When I got back the house was dark, I knew something was wrong
Checked my secret hidey hole, MY GIRLIE MAG STASH WAS GONE!!!
Never asked my mother cuz she'd seemed so unaware
Never asked my pa cause he was hardly ever there
Never found out where they went, they disappeared into thin air
And it was a long long long long long long time til I could say I didn't care
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Sunday, November 15, 2015
The Unexpected Consequences of Eating Too Many Sour Chewy Sweettarts
Sour Chewy Sweettarts were at one time marketed under the name "Shockers". Let me tell you they should have respected the truth in advertising inherent with that label. The intensity of tartness conferred from all these Willy Wonka treats was remarkable and very well could have been the most face-squinching sourness I've experienced in my fifty-plus years.
The unfortunate downswing of these hijinks is that I developed a chemical burn that spread across the entirety of my tongue all the back to and including the area where my uvula hangs.
It's my own stupid fault. I could feel the chemicals eating through too many layers of cells long before the administration of candy pellets had reached four, even five-count multiples. By the time I had the seven pack sucked down to gel the burning was so bad I had to squint my eyes. The question that found priority amongst all that came to me at that moment was "how long is my mouth going to be so alternately sensitive and numb that I won't be able to eat my beloved jalapenos and spicy vittles?" A couple of days later and that answer still has not been found, although progress has been made to the point where I have faith it WILL indeed heal...you know how paranoid I can think sometimes, surely my mouth will never heal from THIS god forsaken self-inflicted injury, after all, I deserve it, hence the term "SELF inflicted". It's nothing but payback being it's usual self. If I never get to taste the wondrous seasonings of a well-mixed chili recipe cooked to perfection by someone who really knows how to make chili...if I never sigh with uninhibited satisfaction after downing a swig of Dr. Pepper or Miller's High Life or Guinness Stout...if I never again will be able to tell the difference between prime Angus beef and succulent Maine Lobster it is for good reason that I've been deprived of these tender mercies. It's because I knew when to stop and I kept on eating, though tears had begun to form.
No, it's more than that. It's because Universal Forces were all the while begging me, whispering in my ears, "Stop! Stop! Enough! No more!" What would have happened if Joseph had ignored the Lord on that cool December night? Gabriel let Mary in on what was going down, what do you think would have happened if she'd gotten jealous of Joseph and disregarded the angel because he didn't have quite as much clout as her husband's Messenger? What would have happened? Nobody knows. But I know what would have happened if I'd heeded the advice of the benevolent spiritual beings who were trying to warn me to lay off of the Sour Chewy Sweettarts. I wouldn't be sitting here typing on the hp laptop about how I got the chemical burn from hell.
But it seems like valuable lessons may be learned at every turn. So it is that with almost every experience I am resigned to also look at this one as the hard earned silver lining. Just what exactly have I learned? Well, first of all I've learned that it would probably be a good idea in the future to regulate severely the amount of Sour Chewy Sweettarts (aka Shockers) I eat in one sitting. If I ever eat them again, If the emotional scars of the chemical burn will free me in my sweet tooth's cravings for Wonka Sugar to ever again opt for the sour stuff. I learned that eating Vlasic Kosher Dill Pickles with such a freshly de-sensitized/throbbing chemically-scorched tongue is a prospect that shares much in common with a full day of taste-testing ghost peppers. Only on a slightly smaller scale does the briny pickle juice pack it's own searing acidic punch.
Other lessons? Oh I'm sure I could fill a book with lessons this has taught me. Writing that book might be the most useful, benevolent gesture I ever offered my fellow man but I don't know if I can do it. If I did, this would have to be the first sentence on the very fist page:
Make sure you're going to have a LOT of alone time the morning after.
But that's just plain good advice.
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Saturday, October 31, 2015
In the guise of an introduction to your friendly blog proprietor
Silly Facebook Q&As...part one
...a.k.a. more than anyone could ever want to know...
1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Dr. Pepper
2.Where was your profile picture taken?
In the front lawn from the driveway at our house, in 1975 or thereabouts.
3.Can you play Guitar Hero?
No, but I can play the guitar.
4.Name someone who made you laugh today?
I ain't been up long enough to find an occassion to laugh.
5.How late did you stay up last night and why?
About 1:00 in the morning. Lost track of time while listening to my XM radio. Then I was attacked by Munchies, ate a ridiculous number of caramel rice cakes then went to bed.
6.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Probably Iceland, cause I could sure use a change of scenery. Otherwise I like where I live just fine and would rather not have to go through all the trouble of moving again, even if I were so inclined to do so, which I am definitely NOT.
7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
If I have I would not remember it. It's not as if you get to make a wish if you kiss under fireworks, is it? Because if that's the case, and I'd known it, I would have run around the park every fourth of July kissing random strangers (okay, not THAT random), because I've long known that the "kissing under mistletoe" method does not work.
8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
They all live too far away.
9. Do you believe ex's can be friends?
In the big picture, I doubt that what I personally belive makes a damn insomuch as ex's are a curious lot and you just can't pin them down to say "well, this is the way it is, the way it always has been and the way it always will be" in regards to a transition between erotic love and philo love. Do I "believe" it? Well, why the hell not? It happens. Has it happened in my life personally? Nope. But, you see, there are usually some pretty good reasons that ex's part ways for good.
10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
How do I FEEL about it?
11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
Really hard? That's pretty damn hard. Don't rightly know that I would want to share that information with just anyone who happens to see it here.
12. Who took your profile picture?
I'm pretty sure it was my brother, but that was so long ago I couldn't say.
13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Probably the wife. It's a lovely portrait of the back of her hand.
14. Was yesterday better than today?
I don't know...today just started. I can only hope that today will be better than yesterday, but as long as it doesn't get any WORSE I don't think I'll have a problem with it.
15. Can you live a day without TV?
I can live a day without anything. No music would be the hardest, but nothing to read might be even worse. No TV? Oh, boy. If the biggest thing TV has to offer these days is Jay Leno at 9pm 5 nights a week...it should be easy why there's no sacrifice involved in spending considerable time without it.
16. Are you upset about anything?
I am still a little upset that my good Bose headphones bit the dust a couple of months ago. I am upset that the DVD-ROM drive in this here laptop is dead and it will cost me a hundred bucks to get it fixed. I'm upset that the last two DVDs Netflix sent me were cracked (one was broken completely in half). I'm upset that the chances of eating brisket at the Fillin' Station are slim to none today. I'm upset with the steadilly declining quality of Sirius XM's programming. I'm upset that I don't have the money to raid the Half Price Books & Records store in Oklahoma City.
17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Of course, as long as you don't equate "worth it" with "getting what I want(ed) out of it".
18. Are you a bad influence?
I try to be.
19. Night out or night in?
Well, if there's an opera going on, I'm night out. Or a Sigur Ros concert or something monumental along those lines, I'll be night out all you need me to be. Otherwise, unless somethin's goin' down, you won't find me around.
20. What items could you not go without during the day?
Foodstuff. Beverages. A pot to piss in. Various music players and their respective media. And probably, hate to admit it, this damn computer.
21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
I do not like to go to hospitals, so I don't do it unless I absolutely have to. As far as I can remember, the last time I visited someone in the hospital it was my dad, just a day before he passed away, right at 10 years ago.
22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
I don't use text messaging. I've discovered something far better and much more convenient. It's called a telephone.
23. How do you feel about your life right now
About the same way I FEEL about Dr. Pepper, only not quite so much.
24. Do you hate anyone?
Can't say that I really do, but who knows. Tomorrow's gonna be another day.
25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?
I imagine you'd find pretty much what you'd find in any facebook inbox...messages and such.
26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
There's absolutely no reason on earth that I would be given a drug test, so it's kind of like "if a tree falls in an empty forest, does it really make a sound?".
27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Yes, on many occasions.
28. What song is stuck in your head?
I don't think there is one in there right now. Just wait until Bryan starts learning a new song on the piano...that will be the one, whether I like the song or not.
29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
Well, Ed MacMahon is dead now, so...
30. Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?
I've got 'em. I would hope that the majority of people would be delighted to have them before they turn 50.
31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Finish up that stuff and make a resolution to give it, who knows, maybe even a whole month.
32. Do you think too much or too little?
Too much. Unfortunately most of my thoughts are considerably less than "lofty", so I might as well not be thinking at all.
33. Do you smile a lot?
No, but if you see me smiling you know I'm sincerely amused. I don't roll with that bullshit.
Silly Facebook Q&As...Part 2
...a.k.a. even MORE than anyone could ever want to know...
(obligatory introduction designed to fill in the clueless as to what these stupid things are all about)...you know the rules. Tag people (if you want) in this note (including the person who tagged you!) to learn more about them. Also, try to tag people who you've tagged in other notes. Sometimes you learn things in new notes that you didn't know before about them.......(***end statement of the obvious)
1. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Unfortunately I have no hoodie, but if I did I think it would be brown.
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? I guess.
4. Do you plan outfits? "Plan outfits"?????
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Bored (else I would not be filling out this questionairre).
6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red? My Webster's Dictionary.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? It had something to do with my ex-father-in-law chastising me in a violent manner.
8. Did you meet anybody new today? Are you kidding?
9. What are you craving right now? Something I'm not suppose to have.
10. Do you floss? No.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Sauerkraut.
12. Are you emotional? Depends on the emotion.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? No. There is no point in such a futile exercise.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream cone or just lick it? One would think it would take years to eat a cone just licking it.
15. Do you like your hair? No, but I'm glad I still have some.
16. Do you like yourself? I don't feel sorry for myself, if that's what you're getting at.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? If he's picking up the tab, I don't mind. We don't have to talk.
18. What are you listening to right now? An album called "Angelic Music" by noted new age composer/performer Iasos.
19. Are your parents strict? No.
20. Would you go sky diving? I say I would, but the "inner chicken" within me would probably hold me back.
21. Do you like cottage cheese? Yes I do, by God. I like it plain or with pineapple chunks. Small curd, and none of that nasty Sam's Choice/Great Value/Wal-Mart brand crap either.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity? I don't know if country and western stars are celebrities, but I met Wade Hayes and actually got to play music with him.
23. Do you rent movies often? I get 3 a week from Netflix. If there's anything new I just have to see (a rare occurance) I'll get it from the video store.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? I can't say there is.
25. How many countries have you visited? One, but I was only there for about an hour.
26. Have you made a prank phone call? I used to love doing that when I was a kid. No such thing as Caller ID back then.
27. Ever been on a train? No,
28. Brown or white eggs? I can't stand, and will not eat eggs.
29.Do you have a cell phone? Yes, but it's just a cheapo model and I only use when I absolutely have to.
30. Do you use chap stick? If I need to. What else would I use for chapped lips? Whale Blubber costs too much.
31. Do you own a gun? No.
32. Can you use chop sticks? No...I had a friend try to show me how once, and for a moment there I thought I was getting the hang of it. Then the moment passed and I grabbed a fork.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight? The wife and the kid.
34 Are you too forgiving? NO.
35. Ever been in love? Probably.
36. What is your best friend doing tomorrow? All of my best friends are scattered hither and yon so how the hell would I know?
37. Ever have cream puffs? I don't think so.
38. Last time you cried? Back in January when the pooch died.
39. What was the last question you asked? "...how th hell would I know?"
40. Favorite time of the year? Opera season.
41. Do you have any tattoos? No. I've never wanted one. I'll not let my body be a sketch pad for a half-assed "artist". No offense intended to any tattoo "artists" who may read this, but...
42. Are you sarcastic? Way too much. Sarcastic, cynical, just an all around pain in the ass.
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? Unfortunately I have. I don't know what I was thinking when I rented that one.
44. Ever walked into a wall? I haven't walked into a wall, but I have turned around and stepped into the side of a door.
45. Favorite color? I have never had a favorite color. When I was a kid I used to say it was blue, but that was before I knew better.
46. Have you ever slapped someone? No, I haven't. Many is the time I should have done so, but no.
47. Is your hair curly? Yes.
48. What was the last CD you bought? I replaced my burned copy of Sigur Ros' "Takk" with the real deal.
49. Do looks matter? I hope not.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? Probably not.
51. Is your phone bill sky high? No.
52. Do you like your life right now? It's okay. Could be a lot better, but hey, as long as there's air in the ol' lungs and the heart keeps a-pumpin'...
53. Do you sleep with the TV on? No way. Sometimes I like a little classical music.
54. Can you handle the truth? I don't really have a choice, do I?
55. Do you have good vision? No, and it just keeps getting worse.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Only a long list of celebrities, not anyone I know in real life.
57. How often do you talk on the phone? As seldom as possible. I don't really like talking on the phone.
58. The last person you held hands with? Uh.....
59. What are you wearing? Cargo shorts, black boxer-briefs and a "M*A*S*H" T-shirt.
60. What's your favorite animal? Dog.
61. Where was your default picture taken? Sitting in a red chair in the living room of the dump we lived in before moving to our current residence.
62. Can you hula hoop? No.
63. Do you have a job? I'm not unemployed, lets just leave it at that, nosey.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought? Tickets to an upcoming performance of Bach's "Mass in B Minor" . I renewed my subscription to WIRED since then, but I don't know if that counts as "buying something".
65. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes. That's just something you have to do a lot when you're trying to get into someone's house while they're away.
Silly Facebook Q&As...Part 3
Even God doesn't care to know me this well...
The title of this quiz is "45 Things About Me That You Probably Don't Care To Know!" That is definitely and understatement.
(blah blah blah) If you opened this, copy it and paste it into your own note - FILL IT OUT!!! Learn 45 things about your friends, and let them learn 45 things about you! (/blah blah blah)
1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes I do...not straight up though. Wishbone salad dressing, babee. And not that nasty Kraft shit that tastes like Miracle Whip.
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? I thought you shot up heroin? Didn't know it was smoked. Maybe if I had known... But seriously, NO NO NO. Heroin is one drug I swore I would never touch.
3. Do you own a gun? I don't need a gun. I've got a baseball bat and my hands are registered as lethal weapons.
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Starbucks? I don't patronize Starbucks often, but I like Hazelnut. Hazelnut likes me.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Not unless they want blood.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? They look funny.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Christmas movies suck. Period.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I don't care. Whatever's around.
9. Can you do push ups? A few. Like 4 or 5.
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? The kind I can send to Cash4Gold.
11. Favorite hobby? Producing music on the Acid Music Studio computer program. I also enjoy working on my blog...the one that nobody reads.
12. Do you have Kids? I wouldn't call them "kids" anymore. But I do have a teenage son and a grown daughter.
13. What's one trait you hate about yourself? I'm a hateful S.O.B.
14. Middle name? Arthur...as in KING Arthur.
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: I wonder if those drops my opthamologist are working? I'll be spending a lot more time in this office since I moved the recliner in here. I have wasted too much time on my computer this afternoon and should put it away for the rest of the night. ***Bonus 4th thought: I probably won't. There are albums floating out there on the Internet that need to be downloaded and added to my collection.
16. Name 3 things you bought yesterday? 1. Nothing. 2. Nothing. 3. Nothing.
17. Name 3 things you drink daily. Water, Dr. Pepper, horse piss...okay, just kidding...that's about it.
18. Current worry? I should have found a psychologist a few months ago, before I actually needed one.
19. Current Dislike? The things I cannot change about myself.
20. How did you bring in the New Year? I let someone else bring it in. I couldn't be bothered.
21. Where would you like to go? Iceland
22. Name three people who will complete this? Larry, Curly and Moe. Hopefully Diane. She can always be counted on for a good laugh.
23. Do you own slippers? What would I need slippers for?
24. What shirt are you wearing? My extra large and comfortable grey one turned inside out because I don't necessarily condone the message emblazoned on the front anymore.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I don't think I would.
26. Favorite color? If I've told you once, I've told you a billion times, I HAVE NO FAVORITE COLOR. They're all pretty nice, but come on. What's the point in choosing a favorite?
27. Could you be a pirate? No. Pirates are rogues and thugs. Throughout history they have raped and pillaged. It amazes me that they are romanticized these days. They're no better than Nazis.
28. What songs do you sing in the shower? Singing in the shower is a pointless endeavour.
29. Favorite food? The tasty kind. The kind I like.
30. What's in your pocket right now? Not a damn thing.
31. Last thing that made you laugh? Listening to people laughing on Sirius XM's comedy station. Not the comedians, mind you. The audience. The comics are funny about 10% of the time, but the audience, they steal the show.
32. Favorite sheets? The ones on my bed, I guess. Favorite SHEETS? Come now!
33. Worst injury you have ever had? Brain sprained a leak one time.
34. Do you love where you live? Yep.
35. How many TVs do you have in your house? Three of 'em. I try not to watch them too often.
36. Who is your loudest friend? I tend to shy away from loud people.
37. How many dogs do you have? No doggies, only memories.
38. Does someone have a crush on you? I think so. But she only knows of me through a fake profile I put up on the NORML community forum. So it's not really *ME*. It's some guy with lots of connections and money to burn.
39. What is your favorite book(s)? "Be Here Now" (Ram Dass), "The Brothers Karamazov" (Fyodor Dostoevski), "Conversations With God" (Neale Donald Walsch), "A Widow for One Year" (John Irving), "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" (Dave Eggers), "The Book (On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are)" (Alan Watts)
40. What is your favorite candy? I like Heath bars. Snickers, too. Snickers with Almonds. Skor. All that shit.
41. Favorite Sports Team? Whichever one is winning the game.
42. What songs do you want sung at your funeral? I don't want any "sung". I will one day burn a mix CD of my favorite Sigur Ros songs and that's what I want played. "Glossoli" will be on it. That's all I can tell you for now, as I am of the decided opinion that question such as these are quite morbid.
43. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Listening to fools talking on the Sirius XM radio "Talk" channels.
44. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke this morning? "I sure wish I didn't have to piss so bad or I'd stay right here."
45. Favorite place to be? In a pleasant dream.
Silly Facebook Q&As...Part 4
Last but not least...okay maybe least...
Here's one that veers slightly from the typical "question and answer" format. For better or worse.
1. I have a perfectly realistic understanding of just how difficult I am to get along with.
2. I believe there is much theological significance in the effects of anaesthesia.
3. My ears ring constantly. The best I can do is distract myself. I believe there is great theological significance in this as well.
4. If a random blood test were done on me today it would show, among other things, a significant percentage of Dr. Pepper. No, I do not find any theological significance in this.
5. When I was 14 my mom and dad would go out dancing. They wouldn't get home until 2:00 am so they left me and my brother two Fox DeLuxe pizzas and a six-pack of Coke each and we would stay up as long as we could watching Saturday Night Live and The Uncanny Film Festival. I am almost positive we had more fun doing this than our parents ever had dancing.
6. As a result of being an outcast most of my life I have a strong aversion to anything that reaches a certain level of popularity.
7. I have never put much stock in the old saying that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Uncontrollable wildfires are worth fearing. So are tsunamis. And Godzilla.
8. I get really, really pissed off when there is not fresh pizza on the all-you-can-eat buffet. You settle for what little is up there and wait for something fresh to come along. It doesn't but you want to get your money's worth so you eat a little more of the pizza that was already there when you arrived. Then just as you get up to leave (or have eaten so much that your gullet is stuffed) they'll put out not only fresh pizzas, but all your favorite kinds.
9. I have no desire to travel anywhere outside of the continental United States, except for Iceland.
10. I love my laptop and I will kill for it. Unless the Internet is down. Even then...
11. I have a son-in-law and two grandchildren who I've never met.
12. I love the house my family lives in right now and have no desire to live anywhere else, be it mansion or castle.
13. I have seen Sigur Ros in concert twice. My son accompanied me the second time. Tornadoes blew over the theater but no one knew or cared. I have resolved to see them every time they play within a three state radius of Oklahoma. Make that a FOUR state radius.
14. I have AT LEAST 30 Sigur Ros concerts that I've downloaded over the last year.
15. I am very likely the only 46 year old you'll ever meet who thinks Sigur Ros is better than the Beatles.
16. I really believe that the Internet is the greatest argument for postmodernism that ever needs to be made.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
18. One time I was working behind the counter at a Love's convenience store and this guy came in to pay for some gas. As he walked through the door he had his hand in his pocket reaching for his cash. When he pulled it out a big bag of marijuana fell to the floor. I'll never forget the look on his face.
19. When I worked at CD Warhouse I was always amazed by the number of hip-hop/rap CDs that got ripped off. Probably 10 to 1 over any other genre.
20. In the eighth grade my best friend and I used to pretend we were drug dealers. This is no lie. We'd put flour and sugar in plastic sandwich bags, take them to school and pretend to sell them to each other. We were abnormally obsessed with the movie "Super Fly". Surprisingly neither one of us used "real" drugs throughout the entirety of our high school days.
21. That same friend and I used to hide out in a vacant room on the second floor of the school building every day during PE. It is disturbing now, when I think back on it, to consider that no one seemed to know or care that we were regularly ditching a class.
22. That same friend told me that Bela Lugosi was his uncle and that he was also in some way related to Boris Karloff. This impressed me immensely because I was all into old monster movies before I got turned on to "Super Fly".
23. I would love to be a member of a nudist colony.
24. I currently subscribe to Esquire, Wired, Vanity Fair and Rolling Stone.
25. My browser's bookmark toolbar currently displays the following: Yahoo Mail, Blogger, MySpace, Facebook, Sedaka, RS.Com Castaways, Garageband, Last.fm, Pandora Radio, Wolfgang's Vault, Allmusic, Allmovie, Spirit Library & Speakeasy Internet connection speed test. Isn't that awesome?
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Addendum..........
In the years since I penned these pithy paragraphs I have seen Sigur Ros one more time *for a total of three*. I felt that was important to share with the reprint status of these narcissistic screes.
...a.k.a. more than anyone could ever want to know...
1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Dr. Pepper
2.Where was your profile picture taken?
In the front lawn from the driveway at our house, in 1975 or thereabouts.
3.Can you play Guitar Hero?
No, but I can play the guitar.
4.Name someone who made you laugh today?
I ain't been up long enough to find an occassion to laugh.
5.How late did you stay up last night and why?
About 1:00 in the morning. Lost track of time while listening to my XM radio. Then I was attacked by Munchies, ate a ridiculous number of caramel rice cakes then went to bed.
6.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Probably Iceland, cause I could sure use a change of scenery. Otherwise I like where I live just fine and would rather not have to go through all the trouble of moving again, even if I were so inclined to do so, which I am definitely NOT.
7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
If I have I would not remember it. It's not as if you get to make a wish if you kiss under fireworks, is it? Because if that's the case, and I'd known it, I would have run around the park every fourth of July kissing random strangers (okay, not THAT random), because I've long known that the "kissing under mistletoe" method does not work.
8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
They all live too far away.
9. Do you believe ex's can be friends?
In the big picture, I doubt that what I personally belive makes a damn insomuch as ex's are a curious lot and you just can't pin them down to say "well, this is the way it is, the way it always has been and the way it always will be" in regards to a transition between erotic love and philo love. Do I "believe" it? Well, why the hell not? It happens. Has it happened in my life personally? Nope. But, you see, there are usually some pretty good reasons that ex's part ways for good.
10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
How do I FEEL about it?
11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
Really hard? That's pretty damn hard. Don't rightly know that I would want to share that information with just anyone who happens to see it here.
12. Who took your profile picture?
I'm pretty sure it was my brother, but that was so long ago I couldn't say.
13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Probably the wife. It's a lovely portrait of the back of her hand.
14. Was yesterday better than today?
I don't know...today just started. I can only hope that today will be better than yesterday, but as long as it doesn't get any WORSE I don't think I'll have a problem with it.
15. Can you live a day without TV?
I can live a day without anything. No music would be the hardest, but nothing to read might be even worse. No TV? Oh, boy. If the biggest thing TV has to offer these days is Jay Leno at 9pm 5 nights a week...it should be easy why there's no sacrifice involved in spending considerable time without it.
16. Are you upset about anything?
I am still a little upset that my good Bose headphones bit the dust a couple of months ago. I am upset that the DVD-ROM drive in this here laptop is dead and it will cost me a hundred bucks to get it fixed. I'm upset that the last two DVDs Netflix sent me were cracked (one was broken completely in half). I'm upset that the chances of eating brisket at the Fillin' Station are slim to none today. I'm upset with the steadilly declining quality of Sirius XM's programming. I'm upset that I don't have the money to raid the Half Price Books & Records store in Oklahoma City.
17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Of course, as long as you don't equate "worth it" with "getting what I want(ed) out of it".
18. Are you a bad influence?
I try to be.
19. Night out or night in?
Well, if there's an opera going on, I'm night out. Or a Sigur Ros concert or something monumental along those lines, I'll be night out all you need me to be. Otherwise, unless somethin's goin' down, you won't find me around.
20. What items could you not go without during the day?
Foodstuff. Beverages. A pot to piss in. Various music players and their respective media. And probably, hate to admit it, this damn computer.
21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
I do not like to go to hospitals, so I don't do it unless I absolutely have to. As far as I can remember, the last time I visited someone in the hospital it was my dad, just a day before he passed away, right at 10 years ago.
22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
I don't use text messaging. I've discovered something far better and much more convenient. It's called a telephone.
23. How do you feel about your life right now
About the same way I FEEL about Dr. Pepper, only not quite so much.
24. Do you hate anyone?
Can't say that I really do, but who knows. Tomorrow's gonna be another day.
25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?
I imagine you'd find pretty much what you'd find in any facebook inbox...messages and such.
26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
There's absolutely no reason on earth that I would be given a drug test, so it's kind of like "if a tree falls in an empty forest, does it really make a sound?".
27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Yes, on many occasions.
28. What song is stuck in your head?
I don't think there is one in there right now. Just wait until Bryan starts learning a new song on the piano...that will be the one, whether I like the song or not.
29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
Well, Ed MacMahon is dead now, so...
30. Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?
I've got 'em. I would hope that the majority of people would be delighted to have them before they turn 50.
31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Finish up that stuff and make a resolution to give it, who knows, maybe even a whole month.
32. Do you think too much or too little?
Too much. Unfortunately most of my thoughts are considerably less than "lofty", so I might as well not be thinking at all.
33. Do you smile a lot?
No, but if you see me smiling you know I'm sincerely amused. I don't roll with that bullshit.
Silly Facebook Q&As...Part 2
...a.k.a. even MORE than anyone could ever want to know...
(obligatory introduction designed to fill in the clueless as to what these stupid things are all about)...you know the rules. Tag people (if you want) in this note (including the person who tagged you!) to learn more about them. Also, try to tag people who you've tagged in other notes. Sometimes you learn things in new notes that you didn't know before about them.......(***end statement of the obvious)
1. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Unfortunately I have no hoodie, but if I did I think it would be brown.
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? I guess.
4. Do you plan outfits? "Plan outfits"?????
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Bored (else I would not be filling out this questionairre).
6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red? My Webster's Dictionary.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? It had something to do with my ex-father-in-law chastising me in a violent manner.
8. Did you meet anybody new today? Are you kidding?
9. What are you craving right now? Something I'm not suppose to have.
10. Do you floss? No.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Sauerkraut.
12. Are you emotional? Depends on the emotion.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? No. There is no point in such a futile exercise.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream cone or just lick it? One would think it would take years to eat a cone just licking it.
15. Do you like your hair? No, but I'm glad I still have some.
16. Do you like yourself? I don't feel sorry for myself, if that's what you're getting at.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? If he's picking up the tab, I don't mind. We don't have to talk.
18. What are you listening to right now? An album called "Angelic Music" by noted new age composer/performer Iasos.
19. Are your parents strict? No.
20. Would you go sky diving? I say I would, but the "inner chicken" within me would probably hold me back.
21. Do you like cottage cheese? Yes I do, by God. I like it plain or with pineapple chunks. Small curd, and none of that nasty Sam's Choice/Great Value/Wal-Mart brand crap either.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity? I don't know if country and western stars are celebrities, but I met Wade Hayes and actually got to play music with him.
23. Do you rent movies often? I get 3 a week from Netflix. If there's anything new I just have to see (a rare occurance) I'll get it from the video store.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? I can't say there is.
25. How many countries have you visited? One, but I was only there for about an hour.
26. Have you made a prank phone call? I used to love doing that when I was a kid. No such thing as Caller ID back then.
27. Ever been on a train? No,
28. Brown or white eggs? I can't stand, and will not eat eggs.
29.Do you have a cell phone? Yes, but it's just a cheapo model and I only use when I absolutely have to.
30. Do you use chap stick? If I need to. What else would I use for chapped lips? Whale Blubber costs too much.
31. Do you own a gun? No.
32. Can you use chop sticks? No...I had a friend try to show me how once, and for a moment there I thought I was getting the hang of it. Then the moment passed and I grabbed a fork.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight? The wife and the kid.
34 Are you too forgiving? NO.
35. Ever been in love? Probably.
36. What is your best friend doing tomorrow? All of my best friends are scattered hither and yon so how the hell would I know?
37. Ever have cream puffs? I don't think so.
38. Last time you cried? Back in January when the pooch died.
39. What was the last question you asked? "...how th hell would I know?"
40. Favorite time of the year? Opera season.
41. Do you have any tattoos? No. I've never wanted one. I'll not let my body be a sketch pad for a half-assed "artist". No offense intended to any tattoo "artists" who may read this, but...
42. Are you sarcastic? Way too much. Sarcastic, cynical, just an all around pain in the ass.
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? Unfortunately I have. I don't know what I was thinking when I rented that one.
44. Ever walked into a wall? I haven't walked into a wall, but I have turned around and stepped into the side of a door.
45. Favorite color? I have never had a favorite color. When I was a kid I used to say it was blue, but that was before I knew better.
46. Have you ever slapped someone? No, I haven't. Many is the time I should have done so, but no.
47. Is your hair curly? Yes.
48. What was the last CD you bought? I replaced my burned copy of Sigur Ros' "Takk" with the real deal.
49. Do looks matter? I hope not.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? Probably not.
51. Is your phone bill sky high? No.
52. Do you like your life right now? It's okay. Could be a lot better, but hey, as long as there's air in the ol' lungs and the heart keeps a-pumpin'...
53. Do you sleep with the TV on? No way. Sometimes I like a little classical music.
54. Can you handle the truth? I don't really have a choice, do I?
55. Do you have good vision? No, and it just keeps getting worse.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Only a long list of celebrities, not anyone I know in real life.
57. How often do you talk on the phone? As seldom as possible. I don't really like talking on the phone.
58. The last person you held hands with? Uh.....
59. What are you wearing? Cargo shorts, black boxer-briefs and a "M*A*S*H" T-shirt.
60. What's your favorite animal? Dog.
61. Where was your default picture taken? Sitting in a red chair in the living room of the dump we lived in before moving to our current residence.
62. Can you hula hoop? No.
63. Do you have a job? I'm not unemployed, lets just leave it at that, nosey.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought? Tickets to an upcoming performance of Bach's "Mass in B Minor" . I renewed my subscription to WIRED since then, but I don't know if that counts as "buying something".
65. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes. That's just something you have to do a lot when you're trying to get into someone's house while they're away.
Silly Facebook Q&As...Part 3
Even God doesn't care to know me this well...
The title of this quiz is "45 Things About Me That You Probably Don't Care To Know!" That is definitely and understatement.
(blah blah blah) If you opened this, copy it and paste it into your own note - FILL IT OUT!!! Learn 45 things about your friends, and let them learn 45 things about you! (/blah blah blah)
1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes I do...not straight up though. Wishbone salad dressing, babee. And not that nasty Kraft shit that tastes like Miracle Whip.
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? I thought you shot up heroin? Didn't know it was smoked. Maybe if I had known... But seriously, NO NO NO. Heroin is one drug I swore I would never touch.
3. Do you own a gun? I don't need a gun. I've got a baseball bat and my hands are registered as lethal weapons.
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Starbucks? I don't patronize Starbucks often, but I like Hazelnut. Hazelnut likes me.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Not unless they want blood.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? They look funny.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Christmas movies suck. Period.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I don't care. Whatever's around.
9. Can you do push ups? A few. Like 4 or 5.
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? The kind I can send to Cash4Gold.
11. Favorite hobby? Producing music on the Acid Music Studio computer program. I also enjoy working on my blog...the one that nobody reads.
12. Do you have Kids? I wouldn't call them "kids" anymore. But I do have a teenage son and a grown daughter.
13. What's one trait you hate about yourself? I'm a hateful S.O.B.
14. Middle name? Arthur...as in KING Arthur.
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: I wonder if those drops my opthamologist are working? I'll be spending a lot more time in this office since I moved the recliner in here. I have wasted too much time on my computer this afternoon and should put it away for the rest of the night. ***Bonus 4th thought: I probably won't. There are albums floating out there on the Internet that need to be downloaded and added to my collection.
16. Name 3 things you bought yesterday? 1. Nothing. 2. Nothing. 3. Nothing.
17. Name 3 things you drink daily. Water, Dr. Pepper, horse piss...okay, just kidding...that's about it.
18. Current worry? I should have found a psychologist a few months ago, before I actually needed one.
19. Current Dislike? The things I cannot change about myself.
20. How did you bring in the New Year? I let someone else bring it in. I couldn't be bothered.
21. Where would you like to go? Iceland
22. Name three people who will complete this? Larry, Curly and Moe. Hopefully Diane. She can always be counted on for a good laugh.
23. Do you own slippers? What would I need slippers for?
24. What shirt are you wearing? My extra large and comfortable grey one turned inside out because I don't necessarily condone the message emblazoned on the front anymore.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I don't think I would.
26. Favorite color? If I've told you once, I've told you a billion times, I HAVE NO FAVORITE COLOR. They're all pretty nice, but come on. What's the point in choosing a favorite?
27. Could you be a pirate? No. Pirates are rogues and thugs. Throughout history they have raped and pillaged. It amazes me that they are romanticized these days. They're no better than Nazis.
28. What songs do you sing in the shower? Singing in the shower is a pointless endeavour.
29. Favorite food? The tasty kind. The kind I like.
30. What's in your pocket right now? Not a damn thing.
31. Last thing that made you laugh? Listening to people laughing on Sirius XM's comedy station. Not the comedians, mind you. The audience. The comics are funny about 10% of the time, but the audience, they steal the show.
32. Favorite sheets? The ones on my bed, I guess. Favorite SHEETS? Come now!
33. Worst injury you have ever had? Brain sprained a leak one time.
34. Do you love where you live? Yep.
35. How many TVs do you have in your house? Three of 'em. I try not to watch them too often.
36. Who is your loudest friend? I tend to shy away from loud people.
37. How many dogs do you have? No doggies, only memories.
38. Does someone have a crush on you? I think so. But she only knows of me through a fake profile I put up on the NORML community forum. So it's not really *ME*. It's some guy with lots of connections and money to burn.
39. What is your favorite book(s)? "Be Here Now" (Ram Dass), "The Brothers Karamazov" (Fyodor Dostoevski), "Conversations With God" (Neale Donald Walsch), "A Widow for One Year" (John Irving), "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" (Dave Eggers), "The Book (On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are)" (Alan Watts)
40. What is your favorite candy? I like Heath bars. Snickers, too. Snickers with Almonds. Skor. All that shit.
41. Favorite Sports Team? Whichever one is winning the game.
42. What songs do you want sung at your funeral? I don't want any "sung". I will one day burn a mix CD of my favorite Sigur Ros songs and that's what I want played. "Glossoli" will be on it. That's all I can tell you for now, as I am of the decided opinion that question such as these are quite morbid.
43. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Listening to fools talking on the Sirius XM radio "Talk" channels.
44. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke this morning? "I sure wish I didn't have to piss so bad or I'd stay right here."
45. Favorite place to be? In a pleasant dream.
Silly Facebook Q&As...Part 4
Last but not least...okay maybe least...
Here's one that veers slightly from the typical "question and answer" format. For better or worse.
1. I have a perfectly realistic understanding of just how difficult I am to get along with.
2. I believe there is much theological significance in the effects of anaesthesia.
3. My ears ring constantly. The best I can do is distract myself. I believe there is great theological significance in this as well.
4. If a random blood test were done on me today it would show, among other things, a significant percentage of Dr. Pepper. No, I do not find any theological significance in this.
5. When I was 14 my mom and dad would go out dancing. They wouldn't get home until 2:00 am so they left me and my brother two Fox DeLuxe pizzas and a six-pack of Coke each and we would stay up as long as we could watching Saturday Night Live and The Uncanny Film Festival. I am almost positive we had more fun doing this than our parents ever had dancing.
6. As a result of being an outcast most of my life I have a strong aversion to anything that reaches a certain level of popularity.
7. I have never put much stock in the old saying that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Uncontrollable wildfires are worth fearing. So are tsunamis. And Godzilla.
8. I get really, really pissed off when there is not fresh pizza on the all-you-can-eat buffet. You settle for what little is up there and wait for something fresh to come along. It doesn't but you want to get your money's worth so you eat a little more of the pizza that was already there when you arrived. Then just as you get up to leave (or have eaten so much that your gullet is stuffed) they'll put out not only fresh pizzas, but all your favorite kinds.
9. I have no desire to travel anywhere outside of the continental United States, except for Iceland.
10. I love my laptop and I will kill for it. Unless the Internet is down. Even then...
11. I have a son-in-law and two grandchildren who I've never met.
12. I love the house my family lives in right now and have no desire to live anywhere else, be it mansion or castle.
13. I have seen Sigur Ros in concert twice. My son accompanied me the second time. Tornadoes blew over the theater but no one knew or cared. I have resolved to see them every time they play within a three state radius of Oklahoma. Make that a FOUR state radius.
14. I have AT LEAST 30 Sigur Ros concerts that I've downloaded over the last year.
15. I am very likely the only 46 year old you'll ever meet who thinks Sigur Ros is better than the Beatles.
16. I really believe that the Internet is the greatest argument for postmodernism that ever needs to be made.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
17. As a result of several unique and often bizarre situations I have come to the conclusion that there is such a thing as deja vu.
18. One time I was working behind the counter at a Love's convenience store and this guy came in to pay for some gas. As he walked through the door he had his hand in his pocket reaching for his cash. When he pulled it out a big bag of marijuana fell to the floor. I'll never forget the look on his face.
19. When I worked at CD Warhouse I was always amazed by the number of hip-hop/rap CDs that got ripped off. Probably 10 to 1 over any other genre.
20. In the eighth grade my best friend and I used to pretend we were drug dealers. This is no lie. We'd put flour and sugar in plastic sandwich bags, take them to school and pretend to sell them to each other. We were abnormally obsessed with the movie "Super Fly". Surprisingly neither one of us used "real" drugs throughout the entirety of our high school days.
21. That same friend and I used to hide out in a vacant room on the second floor of the school building every day during PE. It is disturbing now, when I think back on it, to consider that no one seemed to know or care that we were regularly ditching a class.
22. That same friend told me that Bela Lugosi was his uncle and that he was also in some way related to Boris Karloff. This impressed me immensely because I was all into old monster movies before I got turned on to "Super Fly".
23. I would love to be a member of a nudist colony.
24. I currently subscribe to Esquire, Wired, Vanity Fair and Rolling Stone.
25. My browser's bookmark toolbar currently displays the following: Yahoo Mail, Blogger, MySpace, Facebook, Sedaka, RS.Com Castaways, Garageband, Last.fm, Pandora Radio, Wolfgang's Vault, Allmusic, Allmovie, Spirit Library & Speakeasy Internet connection speed test. Isn't that awesome?
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Addendum..........
In the years since I penned these pithy paragraphs I have seen Sigur Ros one more time *for a total of three*. I felt that was important to share with the reprint status of these narcissistic screes.
Rusty Knife
Cool little blessed teddy bears
A million little blessed teddy bears
Come to the sundown ritual
Bring your spotless goldfish, just put him in a jar
And gather at the foot of the mountain
Where fools perish and prophets hide
Now my mind's gone blank as it is sometimes wont to do
I forgot everything you've said right after you said it
And it frightens me but what else can a man do?
Price to pay, eh chap?
A trollop dropped a wall-full of bricks and made an awful divide
Betwixt the things I don't remember and the fine line which sunders in two
Knowing and not knowing
Being and not being
Thinking and not thinking
Living but not living.
Dying but not dying.
Betwixt the things I don't remember
And the things I can't forget
You seem very disappointed that I will not attempt to describe the way these episodes feel, what's going on in my mind, how I perceive "reality", it's purpose, the fleeting nature of the whole damn thing.
I am genuinely sorry for that state of affairs, but alas, what power doth mortal man hold to fuck around with the hands of time, to try to tie them behind his back. I reserve the right to keep my mouth shut and set out to do a shaker's dance. Just out behind the church, right front of the out house. Cross that field of flowers, crushing the lucky ones, and meet me, that's what it was all about, mister, you've got no idea, and furthermore, we weren't even shakers, only two kids too young to be messed up yet. So little of it survives in my memory. I can't even remember who she was. Or what she looked like, even. I only know that the cold steel of the blade she had hidden in her "Sunday Best" skirt was the most painful thing I've ever felt in my life.
It was a sharp blade. But old. Rust stuck to it and black dirty from all the blood shed carnage clinging to the hard metal. A knife infinitely more painful than a clean, sharp-edged sword.
Okay...give me a moment...
What was all that? I seem to have wondered off
Did you say
Something about shakers?
Or did you say quakers?
Soul Shakers and Earth Quakers
Could it actually be
Thor
Who crashes his camera
He hasn't a hammer
The flash is a freaky thing
It sticks to the back of the eyelid
It burns and it burns and it burns
Thor, is that you?
If it is...stop, please o magnificent god of thunder
cease from this mental torture you inflict
Upon one only humble
Your disregard for me saddens and discourages
I've worshiped you, Thor
I've brought burnt offerings to you
The spotless lamb, a pail for the blood
A pail for the blood
A pail for the blood
This suffering must come to an end
I'll take the rusty sword that brought me here
And slice the beast's neck
And hold it above, let it drain like a fountain
A pail for the blood
So, Thor, look down and consider your worthy servant
Mighty Thor, Manipulator of Gods
Trust me, if I thought I could
I would once more wield my dirty blade
...if I ever thought that this very blade had power to slay deity...
I would thrust it deep into your guts, below the heart, so that the blade would rip hard and dull when I yank it up and cut in half the organ that pumped blood through your useless veins.
Laughing, beaming
A million little blessed teddy bears
Come to the sundown ritual
Bring your spotless goldfish, just put him in a jar
And gather at the foot of the mountain
Where fools perish and prophets hide
Now my mind's gone blank as it is sometimes wont to do
I forgot everything you've said right after you said it
And it frightens me but what else can a man do?
Price to pay, eh chap?
A trollop dropped a wall-full of bricks and made an awful divide
Betwixt the things I don't remember and the fine line which sunders in two
Knowing and not knowing
Being and not being
Thinking and not thinking
Living but not living.
Dying but not dying.
Betwixt the things I don't remember
And the things I can't forget
You seem very disappointed that I will not attempt to describe the way these episodes feel, what's going on in my mind, how I perceive "reality", it's purpose, the fleeting nature of the whole damn thing.
I am genuinely sorry for that state of affairs, but alas, what power doth mortal man hold to fuck around with the hands of time, to try to tie them behind his back. I reserve the right to keep my mouth shut and set out to do a shaker's dance. Just out behind the church, right front of the out house. Cross that field of flowers, crushing the lucky ones, and meet me, that's what it was all about, mister, you've got no idea, and furthermore, we weren't even shakers, only two kids too young to be messed up yet. So little of it survives in my memory. I can't even remember who she was. Or what she looked like, even. I only know that the cold steel of the blade she had hidden in her "Sunday Best" skirt was the most painful thing I've ever felt in my life.
It was a sharp blade. But old. Rust stuck to it and black dirty from all the blood shed carnage clinging to the hard metal. A knife infinitely more painful than a clean, sharp-edged sword.
Okay...give me a moment...
What was all that? I seem to have wondered off
Did you say
Something about shakers?
Or did you say quakers?
Soul Shakers and Earth Quakers
Could it actually be
Thor
Who crashes his camera
He hasn't a hammer
The flash is a freaky thing
It sticks to the back of the eyelid
It burns and it burns and it burns
Thor, is that you?
If it is...stop, please o magnificent god of thunder
cease from this mental torture you inflict
Upon one only humble
Your disregard for me saddens and discourages
I've worshiped you, Thor
I've brought burnt offerings to you
The spotless lamb, a pail for the blood
A pail for the blood
A pail for the blood
This suffering must come to an end
I'll take the rusty sword that brought me here
And slice the beast's neck
And hold it above, let it drain like a fountain
A pail for the blood
So, Thor, look down and consider your worthy servant
Mighty Thor, Manipulator of Gods
Trust me, if I thought I could
I would once more wield my dirty blade
...if I ever thought that this very blade had power to slay deity...
I would thrust it deep into your guts, below the heart, so that the blade would rip hard and dull when I yank it up and cut in half the organ that pumped blood through your useless veins.
Laughing, beaming
School Years - from my photo album
This sort of falls in and out of chronological order but is a good representation of my days in elementary and high school.
Friday, October 30, 2015
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Vic Berger edits the 3rd Republican Debate
...or let's say he did and we could watch it even now if he hadn't deleted it from YouTube. Dirty bastard. His stuff was funny at first but it got real old real fast.
Cloudbusting
Cloud formations over my hometown Thursday morning, October 29, 2015. Unusual? I think so.
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